![]() Reactive people tend to focus on their circle of concerns, which are things they worry about but have little control over, like bills or nuclear wars.We have the choice to dictate how external circumstances affect our behaviors and emotions. One major distinction between animals and humans is that animals are slaves to external stimuli, they are reactive, whereas humans have the power to reflect on a stimuli before responding to it, we can be proactive.The seven habits will help you achieve these paradigm shifts. The paradigms to aim for should imbed universal qualities like fairness, honesty, and integrity, that most people agree are good.The author's paradigm then immediately shifted from annoyance to compassion. The father replied that he probably should, but the children's mother died an hour ago and they're still in shock. The author was so irritated by this that he confronted the father and asked him to control his children. ![]() His children immediately began to cause a disturbance while the father sat down and just closed his eyes. A father entered the train with his children. The author once experienced a paradigm shift when he was on the New York subway.Shifting our paradigms is key to change.When your paradigm is negative, an incident like getting lost in a foreign city might cause you annoyance from the wasted time, but if your paradigm is positive, you might find the experience exciting and you make an adventure out of it. We experience the world through our own paradigms, that is, our subjective feelings and understandings.For example, if you want a happy marriage, instead of learning a few techniques to make others like you more, it is far more effective to focus on becoming a positive person yourself.This method is far more effective and the results will endure. It focuses on working on the fundamental habits and belief systems that form your worldview. The second method is the character ethic method.This method neglects working on fundamental character traits, and rarely results in lasting personal growth. For example, you might study communications or body language if you want a better relationship with others. ![]() It refers to learning the skills for the behavior that you desire.
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